I live in fear that any day, you'll find your way, back to me. I've fought so hard to keep you down, but you keep clawing your way back, above the ground. So many chances, so many opportunities, i've come so close, to letting you back in my life, maybe secretly hoping one day you'll make your way back to me. Everyday i fight, wanting to succumb, knowing i can't, fearing the day, thought you might find your way back. Sometimes I feel, as if it would all get better, finding that peaceful oblivion with you, just so i can forget, forget to remember... I love you, as i have loved no other, everyone dulls in your comparison, which is why we could n
I have become something i cannot explain, a monster of sorts, if you will. Remind me tomorrow i will have to find myself again. Wherever i might have went, some exotic vacation i haven't seen fit to tell anyone about and in place of me i left a shell... I'm lost... and might possibly have been lost for years, and yet still more years to come unless someone finds me...
I once had a dream.... but that was a long time ago... Dreams and sleep and I used to be friends, now it's only nightmares and sleepless night, co-existing as mortal enemies, yet friendly acquaintances. I embrace the night, as if it WERE a long lost friend, i stay up til dawn, talking with him, exchanging old memories, not willing to let myself fall asleep, into that peaceful oblivion until it's too much and it overwhelms me, MAKING me succumb to it, like a past lover. My truly best friend and own worst enemy, lies there, on my own personal being.... my mind.
Think about this. We bleed to let ourselves feel, we breathe to let ourselves love, and we sleep to let ourselves feel death. And in doing all of this, we do it so we can live and feel alive. But what happens when you stop sleeping? You no longer have that vulnerable feeling of death. When you stop breathing, you are not held subject to love anymore, and when you feel so much pain, that you can't stand it anymore, you bleed it out through tears and cuts and eventually stop feeling altogether. Then are we truly dead? Walking around in a haze, not caring, not feeling anything except hate? and when it get's bad enough, not even feeling hate? Jus
I hide the pain,
shy away from love,
don't let anyone get too close,
and try to live above.
I'll never be the same,
i just have to learn to live,
it's like being born again,
learning all over,
how to give...
Everytime i think of him,
i think of that hug,
the happiest time of my life,
and living without it,
sucks.
I always thought,
that i'd grow old and come back and see you,
that i could count on you to be there,
but now i know it's not true.
But i'll live another day,
in hopes that i'll see you again,
maybe,
someday...
In this life,
we make mistakes,
things happen,
and we don't know which path to take.
Im sorry,
for all the pain i've caused,
i could say it wasn't my fault,
but that would be a lie,
one of my many flaws.
Don't tell me i can't,
don't tell me it's wrong,
i'll just look the other way,
and hurry my business along.
I dare you to ask me,
to walk for you through fire,
I dare you to tell me,
that i am a liar,
brand my soul,
leave me,
and burn me with desire.
Leave a rift,
in this beating heart,
hold the beating bloodiness,
in your hands,
and try to tear me apart.
Im stronger than that,
im stronger than you,
i won't give up,
I've seen the way,
i've seen the light,
into another life.
Take this out,
tht im giving you,
and before you know it,
the gate will be down,
and you can get through.
I see the path,
tht lies ahead,
over mtns,
down through rivers,
across canyons,
as i look i shiver.
Show the way,
guide me through the night,
i see it shining,
the beacon of light.
I live in fear that any day, you'll find your way, back to me. I've fought so hard to keep you down, but you keep clawing your way back, above the ground. So many chances, so many opportunities, i've come so close, to letting you back in my life, maybe secretly hoping one day you'll make your way back to me. Everyday i fight, wanting to succumb, knowing i can't, fearing the day, thought you might find your way back. Sometimes I feel, as if it would all get better, finding that peaceful oblivion with you, just so i can forget, forget to remember... I love you, as i have loved no other, everyone dulls in your comparison, which is why we could n
I have become something i cannot explain, a monster of sorts, if you will. Remind me tomorrow i will have to find myself again. Wherever i might have went, some exotic vacation i haven't seen fit to tell anyone about and in place of me i left a shell... I'm lost... and might possibly have been lost for years, and yet still more years to come unless someone finds me...
I once had a dream.... but that was a long time ago... Dreams and sleep and I used to be friends, now it's only nightmares and sleepless night, co-existing as mortal enemies, yet friendly acquaintances. I embrace the night, as if it WERE a long lost friend, i stay up til dawn, talking with him, exchanging old memories, not willing to let myself fall asleep, into that peaceful oblivion until it's too much and it overwhelms me, MAKING me succumb to it, like a past lover. My truly best friend and own worst enemy, lies there, on my own personal being.... my mind.
Think about this. We bleed to let ourselves feel, we breathe to let ourselves love, and we sleep to let ourselves feel death. And in doing all of this, we do it so we can live and feel alive. But what happens when you stop sleeping? You no longer have that vulnerable feeling of death. When you stop breathing, you are not held subject to love anymore, and when you feel so much pain, that you can't stand it anymore, you bleed it out through tears and cuts and eventually stop feeling altogether. Then are we truly dead? Walking around in a haze, not caring, not feeling anything except hate? and when it get's bad enough, not even feeling hate? Jus
I hide the pain,
shy away from love,
don't let anyone get too close,
and try to live above.
I'll never be the same,
i just have to learn to live,
it's like being born again,
learning all over,
how to give...
Everytime i think of him,
i think of that hug,
the happiest time of my life,
and living without it,
sucks.
I always thought,
that i'd grow old and come back and see you,
that i could count on you to be there,
but now i know it's not true.
But i'll live another day,
in hopes that i'll see you again,
maybe,
someday...
In this life,
we make mistakes,
things happen,
and we don't know which path to take.
Im sorry,
for all the pain i've caused,
i could say it wasn't my fault,
but that would be a lie,
one of my many flaws.
Don't tell me i can't,
don't tell me it's wrong,
i'll just look the other way,
and hurry my business along.
I dare you to ask me,
to walk for you through fire,
I dare you to tell me,
that i am a liar,
brand my soul,
leave me,
and burn me with desire.
Leave a rift,
in this beating heart,
hold the beating bloodiness,
in your hands,
and try to tear me apart.
Im stronger than that,
im stronger than you,
i won't give up,
I've seen the way,
i've seen the light,
into another life.
Take this out,
tht im giving you,
and before you know it,
the gate will be down,
and you can get through.
I see the path,
tht lies ahead,
over mtns,
down through rivers,
across canyons,
as i look i shiver.
Show the way,
guide me through the night,
i see it shining,
the beacon of light.
Love's Thrall
Your love is like the bottles call,
Leading me to yet another stupor.
Its calling is irresistible.
Telling me to have anouther pour.
Your love is like the narcotics high,
Taking me high enough to see angels.
It allows me to enjoy things nearby,
But distorts the truth to unclear angles.
Your love is like the grip of cancer,
Drawing me into the disease whole.
It tells me it is the only answer.
My life being the ultimate toll.
For all the effects that are deadly,
At your loves call, I come readily.
Current Residence: Las Vegas, NV. Favourite genre of music: Country/rock Favourite photographer: My ma! She doesn't share my last name, but she is still good!(when she wants Favourite cartoon character: I don't watch cartoons. They are for children or immature adults who can't seem to grow up Personal Quote: No one ever accused me of being nice.
Favourite Visual Artist
independent artists
Favourite Movies
Labrynth
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Almost every one except Daddy Yankee and Polka
Favourite Writers
Robert Herrick/John Saul/Stephen King/Peter Straub/Frank Peretti
~Everyone who loved you will miss you. I will miss you. you were my best friend... i will always remember you.~
My best friend killed himself. Steve ~1964-Dec. 9,2009~ I will never forget him.
Love Jessi
Hey ya'll, it's been a while huh?... lol a long while actually... um well i moved to Colorado, got in trouble, in vegas with my dad right now until after christmas... i have a lot of new shit but guess what, i left it in Colorado with my boyfriend lol *blushes* my bad so until i write new shit while im here, i'll still be M.I.A. lol love you all byes!!
Level 1
(x) Smoked A Cigarette
(x) Smoked A Cigar
(x) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
SO FAR: 3
Level 2
(x) Are / Been In Love
(x) Dumped someone
( ) Been Fired
(x) Been In A Fist Fight (haha it was such a fail, though)
SO FAR: 6
Level 3
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person (is currently with an older person) lol
(x) Skipped Class
(x) Slept With A Co-worker
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die
SO FAR: 10
Level 4
(x) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your deviantart / sheezyart Friends
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
(x) Been On A Plane
(x) Thrown Up From Drinking
SO FAR: 13
Level 5
(x) Eaten Sushi
(x) Been Snowboarding (no